On Creating

In the morning we get out our crayons, paper, scissors, and glue. The back window lets in Eastern sunlight.

Today, Malan made a paper chain to count down the days to her birthday. Jane colored on a 9 x 12 piece of paper and then cut it into 11,762 pieces, which are now hiding in every crevice of my couch.

While their hands are busy creating, I play with baby, or clean up breakfast, or think through the tasks of the day. And for a while there is less whining, and there is more talking, and there is more singing.

And I can see that my life is made up of creative moments. Creating breakfast, creating a clean kitchen, creating happy children (which takes considerable and constant effort), creating chubby wrists and chubby thighs for my wee Olivia, creating a good life for my children, husband, and self. It feels good to be creating.

And though I am very happy and at peace in this particular creative role, sometimes I feel overwhelmed, like I just can't fit it all in my own hands, or on my shoulders. Sometimes it's heavy.

And my 5 month old hasn't taken a nap for 2 months, which makes all that other creating more taxing.

And recently I felt like something had to give, and it was going to be my sanity.

So in desperation yesterday, I asked my Creator to please make it better.

And He did:

For three hours yesterday.

And two hours today.

I'm counting on tomorrow as well.