Hello, Hello! I do exist. Just been feeling like I'm barely holding the fabric of my life together. Well now, that sounds a bit dramatic. But I am certainly finding myself astonished at what needs to be done in a day lately, and making time to blog just feels a little out of the scope of my capabilities. Yet I'm not quite sure I'm ready to let go of this little window into our history. So limping on we go!
Caleb has his shoulder to the wheel these days. Long nights and early mornings and nights away and hours and hours standing over the surgery table has him looking and feeling a bit spent, to be sure. I think he's aged five years in one. I'm finding him just more handsome and distinguished and wonderful, and wouldn't mind more time for the appreciation of such things. But this is what we signed up for, and I'm grateful to be missing my husband for worthwhile reasons.
I don't think I've had my whole house clean at the same time in a couple of months. I don't think I've finished a "to do" list in weeks. I mean finished writing a "to do" list. I find myself taking deep breaths as I move from caring for O and E during the day, to homework, to music lessons, to dinner, to cleaning, to showers, to bed (and all the emotions and energies and little needs that go along with such.) Repeat daily, with four little girls. At night I just want to chat with Caleb and go to bed, but usually he's not home yet and there are still piles of laundry to fold and dishes to do. (More often than I'd like, those stay in the sink til morning. Hee.)
I end my days with pondering and prayer and hope that I'll be a little more like the mother I'd like to be the next day. Most days I'm a bit behind in that pursuit by mid-morning. But I'm hoping on. I feel like I sure have fine materials to work with: my girls are as bright and good and dear as could be wished for. They each have their moments, of course. Let's not be silly. But really, I count myself richly blessed.
These things are nothing new for all you young mothers (and fathers) out there, so I know you can relate.
I end my days with pondering and prayer and hope that I'll be a little more like the mother I'd like to be the next day. Most days I'm a bit behind in that pursuit by mid-morning. But I'm hoping on. I feel like I sure have fine materials to work with: my girls are as bright and good and dear as could be wished for. They each have their moments, of course. Let's not be silly. But really, I count myself richly blessed.
These things are nothing new for all you young mothers (and fathers) out there, so I know you can relate.
For one who's always thrived on check marks and the feeling of having everything squared away just so, I think I'm starting to accept "the best I can do" as being enough for the day. I'm trying to get there. Simplifying seems to be key. So please pardon our sparse presence here, and know we're off trying to live life well.
Hearing this message yesterday reminded me to face every new morning joyfully and to remember how very good life is, and that how good it seems depends largely on the way I approach it.
I watched this today and thought I'd pass it along. These are a series of short videos that talk about what we Mormons are really all about, if any of my dear friends out there have ever been curious to know more. This church and the teachings of Jesus Christ on which it is based bring me the greatest joys in my life, and it sure seems stingy not to share.
Lots of love, and a beautiful day to you.
Hearing this message yesterday reminded me to face every new morning joyfully and to remember how very good life is, and that how good it seems depends largely on the way I approach it.
I watched this today and thought I'd pass it along. These are a series of short videos that talk about what we Mormons are really all about, if any of my dear friends out there have ever been curious to know more. This church and the teachings of Jesus Christ on which it is based bring me the greatest joys in my life, and it sure seems stingy not to share.
Lots of love, and a beautiful day to you.
And here are Malan and Jane on their first day of school this year:
