Just tucked the girls into bed for the night. Olivia fell asleep on her face mid-prayer, after saying, "Thank you for Jesus, cause he just always love us, and he just always so much fun. . ." Goodness, I love that girl.
It's been another busy couple of weeks. Caleb's been gone a lot. It feels like the days are so short. I get the girls off to school by 7:15, feed Emme and Olivia breakfast, read with them, and then we usually either have preschool or a field trip or library trip, or play group, or go out to run errands. Then the girls get home from school and we do homework for an hour or two, make dinner and it's already time to get the girls ready for bed.
I think I look forward to the weekend more than the girls do. I really crave that unscheduled time with them. All four girls usually pile in my bed on Saturday morning. Jane brings in a couple of books, Emme brings in about 15 little books. We read for a while, and make breakfast late. Usually we make something special, buttermilk pancakes or waffles or french toast, things we don't have time for during the week.
Saturdays we deep clean the house. Malan and Jane are getting great at doing the bathrooms themselves and taking care of their rooms, the playroom, and the library. Olivia is so proud about making her own bed and putting her clothes away. Emme follows us all around making new messes.
Sundays are my favorite. I teach the Sunbeams in Primary, which may be the best calling in the church. The rest of the day is just ours, and it's always over too soon. It's just a bit of a blur of days right now. Happy to have a few glimpses to look back on:
I think I look forward to the weekend more than the girls do. I really crave that unscheduled time with them. All four girls usually pile in my bed on Saturday morning. Jane brings in a couple of books, Emme brings in about 15 little books. We read for a while, and make breakfast late. Usually we make something special, buttermilk pancakes or waffles or french toast, things we don't have time for during the week.
Saturdays we deep clean the house. Malan and Jane are getting great at doing the bathrooms themselves and taking care of their rooms, the playroom, and the library. Olivia is so proud about making her own bed and putting her clothes away. Emme follows us all around making new messes.
Sundays are my favorite. I teach the Sunbeams in Primary, which may be the best calling in the church. The rest of the day is just ours, and it's always over too soon. It's just a bit of a blur of days right now. Happy to have a few glimpses to look back on:
A frog camping out on our back window
Posing for Aunt Katie, who stole my camera. Pretty sure my girls would move in to Aunt Katie's family if they could, they love her so much.
Sea lion watching-
Mom W. hits the zoo with Emme (also here for Malan's baptism, it was so wonderful to have her!)
Cute laundry, and check out the prehensile toes!
The little birthday project I mentioned. This makes me happy!
And this just in: Emme now requires her food be taste-tested by small plastic friends before she'll eat a bite.
They take a bite, she takes a bite, then they, then she. Kind of cute/funny/weird.
And more weird that my 22 month old suddenly has strong preferences and opinions about her eating habits, and the rest of her life. I guess she's a person now. And I'm loving so much getting to know her happy, huggy, particular self.
And just trying, you know, to be a better person and a better mom. It's a daily struggle, because honestly this motherhood thing is the toughest gig I've ever had. Not the day to day tasks, but the unending process of trying to help four little independent, diverse souls figure out life, and succeed, and get along, and be happy, and develop faith. It's a constant downpour of rapidly changing emotions for me- pride, anxiety, happiness, frustration, peace, anger, joy, exhaustion, guilt, nostalgia, loneliness (Just 4.5 more years of that though), contentment. Some days more good emotions than bad. And that's what I'm going for, I think.
That, and trying to get to a place where I'm really and truly okay with things not being perfect all the time (ever?), and kinda being out of my control. That this is how life is with four kids and that it's acceptable that I just don't have the stamina to finish the dishes every night or put all the laundry away the same week I wash it, or to read to each of them as much as I'd like, or to fill their free time with pinterest inspired activities sure to expand their brains and guarantee their creativity and instill memories of a perfect childhood (etc., etc.). That I can't be a bubbly best friend to my girls all the time (that's what Aunt and Uncle K&J are for anyway), but what they need me to be is a kind and steady mom. And I think I can do better to be that at least. It's really the most important thing on my to do list right now. So please bless.
Happy weekend to you! Hope it lasts and lasts.
And just trying, you know, to be a better person and a better mom. It's a daily struggle, because honestly this motherhood thing is the toughest gig I've ever had. Not the day to day tasks, but the unending process of trying to help four little independent, diverse souls figure out life, and succeed, and get along, and be happy, and develop faith. It's a constant downpour of rapidly changing emotions for me- pride, anxiety, happiness, frustration, peace, anger, joy, exhaustion, guilt, nostalgia, loneliness (Just 4.5 more years of that though), contentment. Some days more good emotions than bad. And that's what I'm going for, I think.
That, and trying to get to a place where I'm really and truly okay with things not being perfect all the time (ever?), and kinda being out of my control. That this is how life is with four kids and that it's acceptable that I just don't have the stamina to finish the dishes every night or put all the laundry away the same week I wash it, or to read to each of them as much as I'd like, or to fill their free time with pinterest inspired activities sure to expand their brains and guarantee their creativity and instill memories of a perfect childhood (etc., etc.). That I can't be a bubbly best friend to my girls all the time (that's what Aunt and Uncle K&J are for anyway), but what they need me to be is a kind and steady mom. And I think I can do better to be that at least. It's really the most important thing on my to do list right now. So please bless.
Happy weekend to you! Hope it lasts and lasts.
8 comments:
Amen and amen!!! You perfectly capture my current feelings about motherhood and life! Perhaps I should copy and paste your thoughts into my journal. :) As you know, I think you are doing a stellar job and hope to be more like you. Have a great weekend!
You are such an incredible mom and person! I am always inspired by your example. Love hearing how things are going post Pittsburgh.
you are wonderful! i appreciate knowing day old dishes and week old laundry are sitting at someone else's house as well - despite best efforts. it's a refiners fire!
I'm so glad you have gotten to the stage where you can't be in control all the time. I know that sounds funny, but that happened for me with number 5. And when I finally let go...I was so much happier. Now with them all older, the control is back, but they all play a huge part in it. It is a good learning curve, so just go with it and know that know one is judging you and all you need to do is try to love them each day and eliminate anything that won't allow you to do that. By the way...Caleb's program is 5...FIVE...years? I thought it was 3. Love you always. Can't wait to play in February
Sunbeams!!! How did you get that gig? I'm going to hold out for that one! Love you post, Kate. Sending a hug your way.
Love the post, words and pictures both. I saw my first of those beautiful bright green frogs about a month ago. I hope to see more. I need to see that malan book. I also need some photography lessons. You're not busy right?
Also, loved seeing Malan and Jane in the primary program. We loved Jane's urgent waves from the front row.
Your realness inspires me to be better. I am SO serious. Five years until you can move back to the valley?! I'll have to hold out. :) Bless you wonderful people. I've got to get my kids cleaning bathrooms and I have decided that if I can just figure out myself, I might be a seriously awesome mom. :) much love.
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