Mushy

I came home from our soccer game last night and, like every night, I went in to check on the girls before going to sleep. Sitting down in the chair by Malan's bed I just couldn't leave and had to sit there watching her sleep for the longest time. I just kept thinking, there is nothing I wouldn't do . . . what is this crazy motherhood thing and why didn't anyone warn me how deeply I would lose myself in these beautiful perfect children? I remember how scared I was when I went into labor for the first time because I was terrified they were going to send me home with this tiny little person who I would then be responsible for. How would I take care of that child in this world when I felt so vulnerable myself?

Now every day I gush about play dough creations and glitter glue masterpieces and Jane learning to say Mama after four months of Dada and first steps and princess dresses. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by it all. It just amazes me.