Osky

 I guess I didn't mention a thing here on the blog about expecting Oscar. I actually had wanted to record this pregnancy in detail, in case it was our last. But when the first trimester yuck hit early on, I kind of climbed into a cave and couldn't for the life of me muster any gumption. I never did get any gumption, but I did get a baby, and so here we are.

I do want to record a few things. Like how discouraged I felt in May when once again we weren't pregnant, the sweet priesthood blessing from Caleb and Joey, and the happy cry after finding out I was expecting at the end of June. I loved getting to keep it all to my self for a whole week since Caleb was in Memphis and I was in Utah, and I wanted to tell him in person.

The first trimester was a total loss, but after about 13 weeks I felt so much better and really the rest of the pregnancy wasn't bad. We decided from the start that we wanted to wait to find out if we were having a boy or a girl until the birth. After having four girls, you might think I was desperate to have a baby boy, but I was actually really uncomfortable with the idea. My girls have all been quite calm and clean and careful, and the thought of having a boy just felt kind of messy and annoying. I had nephews I loved a whole bunch, but many of the other little boys I knew just seemed so very LOUD and busy. I remember praying to feel at peace with whatever gender of baby I was blessed to be carrying. As many of my answers to prayers come, this answer arrived in a dream. In the dream, I was lying in a bed having just given birth to a son. As I held him in my arms, feeling bewildered and overwhelmed, four or five sweet, grandmotherly old Hebrew women came in and gathered around me. One raised both arms to Heaven and exclaimed with her yiddish accent, "A son! Oh what joy to have a son!" The other women loudly agreed, adding comments like, "You must teach him to be a kind father and to protect women!" "What an honor to raise a son!" "You will help him learn to love God and be a good man." "You are truly blessed!" I felt the truth of their words fill me with warmth and when I looked down into the face of the tiny baby boy in my arms, I felt peace and joy. After that dream I had a hunch I was expecting a son, and couldn't have been more excited.

I got the feeling in late January that the March 9th due date wasn't going to happen and started getting everything together for an earlier arrival. On the evening of the 12th of February I was pretty sure I had some amniotic fluid leaking. It wasn't much at all though, so Caleb and I both got a good night's sleep like super irresponsible people and then left our kids with Katie and went in to be checked the next morning. After having a leak confirmed, we checked in to the hospital around 11:00 and waited for the party to get started. 

Around 3:00 I had regular contractions, but they weren't really painful. About 3:50 I realized I hadn't cancelled with Jane's piano teacher, so I gave her a call and about half-way through that conversation I had to fake a cheerful voice and get off the phone super fast and get down to business. I wanted another shot at a non-medicated childbirth this time since my recovery with Olivia had been so awesome, so we went for it. Having gone through it once before and knowing what I was experiencing wasn't actually killing me was really amazingly helpful, I think.  Still, there were those minutes at the end there where I was just praying for strength and would have given anything to have it all over.  But then it was over, and the pain was gone, and we found out we had a son! And he was right there on my chest with his tiny cheek next to mine, all wrapped in warm towels and wet and gooey and perfect. It's miraculous.

Katie and Joey took such good care of our girls for us while we were gone and Katie also got busy making everything at home perfect for our return. These peeps are the best peeps. I can't even...

Since then, we've had our hands so happily full with this tiny guy.

(a picture I love so much by Katie at the hospital, thanks Katie!)

 (Katie pic again!)

I always think I'd like to dress my kids up cute and pull off some sort of neat photoshoot or something with a new baby, but I tell you what, it's not in me. I'm barely keeping it together as it is, folks. Getting us fed and showered feels pretty amazing most days. This is the real us right now, with messy hair and jammies and borrowed furniture and blankies, and I'm just super happy with that, so there we have it.

Caleb's mom flew out the day after Oscar was born to come help us, and she was amazing. This picture of her with Oscar is one of my all time faves.
Our tiny pug baby!

The girls were out of school for the week after Oscar was born because of some ice storms, but the next week it was just Emme and me at home again with our new buddy. Lazy guy kept falling asleep face down on the floor during tummy time.

Then Katie and my dear friend Becca threw Oscar the most amazing Oscar themed baby shower. (Perfectly timed with the Hollywood Oscars!) It was incredibly lovely and I felt so spoiled and loved. And I still haven't had to buy diapers yet. Thank you, friends.

 A few pictures of Oscar at about 1 month old, and his owl hat from Aunt Victoria:

A month old super man...

2 months old!

Almost three months old, and a total giant. Why does this sweet newborn stage have to pass so quickly? He rolled over yesterday, fer cryin' out loud. He's smiling and giggling, though he's elusive about it on camera. Sleeping good six to eight hour stretches at night. Loved to pieces by his big sisters.

 Oh, our Oscar boy. He is the joy I expected he would be.